Instrumentation
The Scale
Published 1902. Comprising twenty-one rungs, of which nineteen are the word “Ordinary.” Reproduced below in abridged form, because the abridgement is the entire point.
| Karat | Designation | Remark of the Registrar |
|---|---|---|
| 21 | Twenty-One | Achieved. Nothing further is required of it. |
| 20 | Ordinary | So close. This is the cruelest rung. |
| 19 | Ordinary | Indistinguishable from twenty, to us. |
| 18 | Ordinary | Jewelers are fond of this one. Jewelers. |
| 17 | Ordinary | No record of anyone submitting this. |
| 16 | Ordinary | A number, certainly. |
| 15 | Ordinary | We are contractually obliged to list it. |
| 14 | Ordinary | Popular. This is not a compliment. |
| ⋮ thirteen further rungs, all Ordinary ⋮ | ||
On the Absent Rungs
Visitors invariably ask after twenty-two, twenty-three, and twenty-four. The Institute acknowledges that these numbers exist in the abstract, in the same way that a fourth wall exists in the abstract while you are watching a play. To dwell on them is to misunderstand what the room is for.
Correspondence on this subject is welcomed, filed, gilded, and never opened again.